Hekissed Me First and Kissed Again
OC
Met a guy online, texted for most 1.5 weeks, then agreed to meet up. Had dinner and talked for 3.v hours, i felt like we both really connected, and it felt similar he was actually interested in me and kept trying to ask subtly if we'll go on a second date.
It didnt really feel similar a kickoff date, we were both actually open/honest and there was like no clumsiness betwixt us. The simply thing i wasnt really bang-up on is that when nosotros were walking he kept putting his arm behind my back. I know that's not that large of a deal –but i thought it was too touchy for a first date? While we were having dinner he as well kept trying to subtly hold/touch my easily.
and he dropped me off at my identify, and we kissed a chip and and so i said i had to go. i commonly do not osculation on the kickoff date, and then this was kinda weird for me..
So now nosotros're meeting up again, and i noticed the place he chose is really close to where he lives. So i'm kinda suspicious that he'south planning on inviting me to his place at the finish… which i am in no style interested.
i. if he kissed me on the first date, is it incorrect to assume that he prob kisses everyone on the offset engagement?
two. was his arm around back affair considered touchy, or am i just beingness prude?
iii. Should i exist upfront with him virtually me wanting to accept things slow and not wanting to do annihilation until i become to know the person –or should i non say anything yet until he shows any ill intentions?
I've already told him that im very skeptical/non trusting of online dating, and i've had a negative feel in the past with the guy existence an online dating addict while being in a human relationship with me.
redcurleysue
He is pretty gratis with touching on a first date. And y'all have every right to be suspicious of the second engagement – just don't permit him have you to his home. Tell him yous don't visit a human's home just on a whim.
You needed to be upfront in your expectations up front – but you can still practise it now, merely expect he may feel he's been played a bit.
Before you leave once more tell him that y'all are not sure if he knows this nigh you but you want to exist upfront – yous don't simply do casual sex activity and you desire to brand sure he is enlightened of that well-nigh you. If he does non want to date yous then y'all will understand.
Elena
Hello,
In my opinion, yous might be over reacting a fiddling bit. I recall that when a guy likes you, it is normal that he tries to approach you phisically, touching your hands, your back… so that you guys feel closer and to make it easiear to kiss y'all. I think it is adept that he did that because he showed that he liked you and that he wanted to kiss you lot. It doesn't necessarily mean that he (only) wants to take yous to bed. And there is nothing wrong in kissing on a first date if yous both felt like it.
I think you shouldn't worry well-nigh whether he kisses other girls on commencement dates or non, because the important thing hither is what he does with you, and how he treats you, and how you experience when you're with him. And I don't think it would be a terrible matter for him to kiss/try to buss every girl he likes on a first date. It's actually quite upfront: he likes the girl, he tries to go closer and kiss her. It's just that.
About the restaurant near his business firm. It could be what you are thinking, that it is sooo conveniently near his house, or information technology could exist that he knows this eating house because it is near his house and he gets to go oftentimes, and he wants to take you there because he likes it. Or information technology could also be both, considering why would he close the door to having sex with you if he feels attracted to you (and y'all to him, beacuse you lot kissed him)? Not all guys loose interest after they've had sex with a daughter early on on, but the stupid gusy do. All the same, it is perfectly fine that you need more time to become to know him and feel comfortable with that thought. If yous feel like it'south actually obvious that he wants to take you to his house, tell him, and be upfront. I personally would wait until he really ask yous to go to his business firm, after dinner or whatever. And then that I'm sure that it'southward not all in my mind, he he.
Promise information technology helped,
Elena
SweetMarie
OC,
What matters is what yous're comfy with. I also wouldn't like a guy touching me that much when I don't even know him. Mind to yourself and trust that what you want is okay and doesn't need to be measured upwardly against some kind of standard in order to be okay or correct. Y'all say you weren't actually swell on him touching you lot the fashion he was–that's all that matters. If a guy is touching yous and yous're not nifty, make sure to tell him. You can be overnice nearly it if you like the guy—simply grin, movement away a little, and say you're really not comfortable beingness touchy-feely until y'all get to know someone.
I agree the eatery affair could be what you're thinking–based on how much he was touching you (I think yous're putting things together fifty-fifty subconsciously to come to that determination, we do that and then try to reason our way out of our practiced instincts fashion as well frequently.) I wouldn't make a thing of information technology or bring up sex or what you will or won't exercise, personally, I'd merely have a prissy dinner, if you like him let him kiss you good goodbye subsequently at the restaurant, and turn down any offer to go home with him or do something else after. Have it slow until yous can see where he's at. I would be very careful with him.
So for your questions:
ane. if he kissed me on the get-go date, is it incorrect to assume that he prob kisses anybody on the kickoff date?
He probably kisses women he likes/wants to see over again on the get-go date. There's no reason to think you were some wild exception.
2. was his arm around dorsum thing considered touchy, or am i just beingness prude?
Y'all're not being a prude. Non that it matters, you like what you like and are comfortable with what you're comfy with–don't try to talk yourself into being someone you're not.
3. Should i be upfront with him almost me wanting to accept things slow and not wanting to practise anything until i get to know the person –or should i not say anything still until he shows any ill intentions?
I don't think in that location'south a demand to make a announcement about it. Actions speak louder than words. He won't mind to what you say, he'll watch what you exercise. So don't SAY information technology, just don't do annihilation with him until you get to know him. If he's making a move or getting as well shut in a way that you need to say something, so practice it, but in that location's no demand to denote it unless you're doing it in a specific situation. Which you won't have to deal with if you're not lonely with him in his apartment…
Holly
I'k seeing a really great guy for a few months now..he kissed me on our first engagement..we didn't appoint in anything more than for a good bit after but..he'southward stlll in my life..he has said he loves me..and demonstrates it regularly..sending flowers..taking me away for weekends..what can I say..in that location are frogs around..I know equally I have kissed a good few of them but I havent allowed this deject my judgement of the the overall male person race. You lot are correct to be cautious but at the same time, there are skillful men effectually then be positive..
Lagirl
Omg… Information technology was a FIRST engagement? Practice y'all ever deed this manner? The vibe I'm getting isn't skilful.
I don't see he did anything wrong. Light touching is a sign of warmness for some people and information technology happens between like sexes and opposite sex activity.
Did he put his tongue downward your throat? If it was a light kiss..was it confronting your volition? Because yous didn't have to accept it?
Instead of analyzing everything, just bask it. And I would not dump on a guy during the starting time engagement how burned y'all were in online dating, etc. now that's a lot of fun, isn't it? No one wants to hear about your past relationships or negative things.
Regarding the eating place, just go. If he asks to go to his place, say you don't exercise that until you know the human better. No large deal Nd don't be all drama virtually it. Calm firm boundaries volition gain his respect. My boyfriend, now husband, took me to an Italian restaurant on date 3 most his home. He didn't enquire me TO his dwelling house. We didn't have sex until the 6th date.
Try to arctic. I don't get the impression you really are into this guy..
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Source: https://www.anewmode.com/topic/kissed-on-the-first-date-is-that-bad/
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